The Why of My Mission

It has been almost 24 hours since I opened my mission call and learned that I will be serving in Costa Rica, and honestly I can still barley breathe and I cry every time I think about it. However, I have had so much support from people whom I could have never imagined. I am so grateful for the people in my life and the opportunity that I have to share the gospel that makes me happier than anything else in this world with others. Honestly, I could have been called to Fort Worth, Texas and I would still be just as excited. A little confused, but excited. Along with the support from all directions I have also been asked a plethora of times why I decided to serve a mission so I thought that I would answer that here because I feel as if I get my feelings across better in writing than I do when I am speaking.

I never imagined that I would serve a mission. For the longest time I knew that I was supposed to but I am so stubborn and I wasn’t very strong in the gospel so I just pretended that I knew it wasn’t for me. That was a bold faced lie. I was lying to myself, to everyone who asked me about a mission, and I even tried to lie to my Heavenly Father because I was scared. I was never scared of actually going, I was scared of what I would miss. I was scared that I wouldn’t be here to find the man that I am supposed to spend eternity with. I was scared that my friends would move on without me, and lets be honest, they will. Just as my life will be moving on in Costa Rica, they have lives to live here at home. I was scared that I would miss out on most of my little brother’s high school career, and again, I will but thank goodness I should be back in time for his Graduation.

As I have been away from home, I have grown so much in the gospel and just a person in general. While I was home during Thanksgiving I started to seriously contemplate serving a mission, and I prayed and fasted about it for weeks. While I was at home for Christmas I tried harder than ever to get my answer, but I was still hesitant. I was still scared. I went to institute and asked my teacher why I wasn’t getting the revelation that I needed and deserved. I didn’t tell him that I was scared, but the first thing out of his mouth was “Fear. The Holy Ghost can not give us the revelation that he wants when we are too scared to accept it.” He told me that I need to pray for love, because perfect love over comes all fear. When I did that, my answer came loud and clear about a day later. Go. I remember the moment still and I will forever. I was sitting on the bus on the way home from class and there were only a few people there. I wasn’t being social like I normally try to do, and it just hit me. If I have been blessed with this amazing gift that makes me happier than anything and I know that it can make others happy, how on earth could I be so selfish as to keep that all to myself. I also felt all of my fears fall away. I have a blessing from my Father in Heaven and in that blessing he promised me that I will be able to be sealed to my eternal companion for time and all eternity, he promised me that as I teach people they will come to understand the happiness that the things I am telling them can bring them. If God wants me to serve a mission, then that is what I will do and I have absolutely no reservations about it at all. I have honestly never felt so much at peace will any decision that I have ever made.